Foolish

I've been badly hurt before. And I didn't want to fall into that trap again, so I forgot all about it. I had become extra protective of myself and doubtful about others. I never wanted to be vulnerable again.

But then you came, and I thought maybe it'll work out this time. I was willing to give it a chance.

So I took a risk. I trusted you. I was there for you. I gave you all I could. I made you special.

For a while, it seemed like everything would work out. That it would be alright to trust again. That it would be alright to open myself up again, to give someone all I could without the fear of being betrayed or taken for granted. That someone would also make me feel special. That maybe, it'll be alright.

But like many things in this world, it began to fall apart. I tried so hard. So hard I'd die trying. But you weren't there. You weren't willing to give it your all. You weren't willing to at least let me feel that the risk I took was worth it.

I feel cheated. Betrayed. Confused. Disappointed. Torn. And hurt.

I shall never trust again.

Gone

i want you. so bad. but you're not here. *sigh*

Don't Push Me Away

It seemed like we're almost there and then suddenly, we go downhill.

Or rather, I reach out but you push me away.

I hate this. This keeps going on and on. When will the games end?

*sigh*

So what now?

Pffffft

I need to know something.

I need to know.

If you really like me.

Or if you're just sticking around because of him.

*sigh*

I Knew It

What does it matter if I'm here or not? It's not like you care anyways.

I knew it. I knew it all along. You're just like him. You only stick around if you need or want something from me. I hate to think that you've been using me all along.

You were special to me. The least you could have done was to reciprocate that. Or to be honest with me. But you got me caught up in your lies.

It's not about me after all. It's about him.

And sorry, but I don't wanna be your slave anymore. I've given too much of myself.

Damn.

I cannot believe myself sometimes.

Why did I even think that? It was bad and then suddenly, it was okay.

And now why do I get the feeling that it isn't okay anymore?

*Sigh* I need to get a grip. And fast.

That's It

I am tried of all this crap. I'm just hurting myself.

I thought you cared. Or at least you used to. Why can't you now?

Fine.

What's the deal, really?

Whatever happened to those moments? Why so silent? Why so far away?

*Sigh*

To hell with it. I don't even care anymore.

Just leave me alone.